Calling the dead is shirk! Seeking the assistance in things that humans can do is. It shirk. Fr example, if you ask someone to help you carry a big box, this is permissible. But if you ask him for example to restore your eyesight and he is not a doctor, this is shirk!

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You must burn them completely while reciting Ayat Al Kursi on it and the last 3 surah of the Quran.

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You should inform your family the best that you can do that this is haram and it nullifies Islam. Your father is allowed to take a second wife !

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