Dealings and Attitudes with In-Laws

QUESTION: My husband consults his mother& brother -in law about every small & big matter concerning our marriage & children & always follows their opinion.If I suggest something, he often does the opposite after they speak. Even our personal matters,children’s matters, spending & school decisions r discussed with them & obeyed. I feel I have no value or privacy as a wife.Should husband & wife make their own

Dealings and Attitudes with In-Laws, Fiqh of Marriage

28 Sep

ANSWER: You need to be more diplomatic and take things in a more lighter way. It seems that he trusts their judgment and finds an escape in their advice so that if things go wrong, he can blame them. This is better than blaming you for his wrong decisions. Don’t allow Satan to mess up […]

QUESTION: My mother in law is living with us.Now mother inlaw and sister inlaw are going to our home country. My husband is asking me to stay with them to help because my sister is pregnant and my mother has health issues.I also have a 4mnth old baby and when I say that it is difficult for me,my husband looks at me as I have no mercy. Am I sinful?if my husband is not right,please give me an advice for him.

Dealings and Attitudes with In-Laws

27 Sep

ANSWER: No, you are not sinful. You are not obliged to serve your in-laws. Your husband can keep a helper for them if your husband really wants to take care of them.

QUESTION: My husband has never imposed spending restrictions on me or for our children. My mother in law and sister in laws intervene frequently reminding me that the money I spend belongs to my husband and thus do not allow me to make any purchases. They expect my elderly parents to take care of my finances and necessities. I am suffering mentally and emotionally. What can I do?

Dealings and Attitudes with In-Laws

31 Jul

ANSWER: Pay no attention to what they say at all and be grateful to Allah as your husband is on your side! Do not show them or tell them about anything you do or purchase or spend. Don’t argue with them or defend yourself or your parents. Just smile in their faces and let them […]

QUESTION: In islam can a husband order his wife to serve her in laws?

Dealings and Attitudes with In-Laws, Fiqh of Marriage, Fiqh of the family

08 Jul

ANSWER: She is not obliged to obey him in this as she is not a servant to them! However, if they visit his house, as any guest, she is obliged to honor them and serve them but not if they are staying there for ever as in the case of a joint family system.

QUESTION: Can my husbands sister in law(brothers wife) who doesnt cover herself talk with him about the problems she has with her husband and needs solution.where they dont prefer me to be present.She believes that nobody could solve it except my husband

Dealings and Attitudes with In-Laws

29 May

ANSWER: This is absolutely prohibited as this is seclusion and it is haram

QUESTION: Can a husband refuse to provide his wife with a separate kitchen, room, and washroom for privacy on the basis that her family knew at marriage that he was living with his mother, even though he lives in a double-storey one-kanal house (owned by his mother)? He argues that privacy is met with only a separate room and washroom, without a separate kitchen. Is this justified in Islam?

Dealings and Attitudes with In-Laws, Fiqh of Marriage

23 May

ANSWER: No, she has the right to have her own bedroom, washroom and her own separate kitchen. She is not obliged to meet any of his family members, let alone serve them!

QUESTION: My husband shares most daily personal details of our married life with his parents and siblings, and he says it is because they care and want to be involved. Is this Islamically appropriate, or should some level of privacy be maintained between spouses?

Backbiting, Dealings and Attitudes with In-Laws

02 May

ANSWER: This is backbiting, one of the major sins in Islam and he is sinful for this. He needs to stop being a mommy’s boy.

QUESTION: Do I have to visit my husband’s non-Muslim family when they invite us (including uncles, cousins, etc.)? I don’t feel comfortable there, especially when it’s so crowded. But I wonder if I should go for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala and for my child, or if Allah would be displeased if I don’t go, since it’s my husbands family. What is your advice?

Dealings and Attitudes with In-Laws, Mahram

24 Jan

ANSWER: If there is free mixing, this is totally prohibited even if they are Muslims.

QUESTION: I have an interview next month. My in-laws say that I should not wear an abaya to the interview because they think this country is racist. However, I am not comfortable without wearing an abaya, but they keep insisting. What should I do?

Dealings and Attitudes with In-Laws, Halal/Haram Matters

21 Jan

ANSWER: They have no right in dictating things to you, especially when its going against Islamic rulings! Do not obey them!

QUESTION: My divorced sister in law lives with us and she is quite older than me. She doesn’t talk to me neither say Salam to me. Is it obligatory on me to always say Salam to her let alone serve her despite her cold attitude towards me ? Will Allah forgive me if I keep a distance with her as she does with me ?

Dealings and Attitudes with In-Laws

14 Dec

ANSWER: You’re not obliged to maintain ties with her as she’s not your kinship. You should say salam whenever you see her and you are not obliged to serve her.

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