ANSWER: You had no right in spying on him like this. If you want to end your marriage, you can talk to your parents or anyone else. However, this is considered slandering and in Islam you should be flogged 80 lashes for failing to bring 4 male muslim witnesses testifying that he was committing adultery. 

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ANSWER: No problem in this islamically. You should follow your culture, if its disrespectful to call him by his name then you should not do it.

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