If this is the voluntary fasting you can go ahead but if she is fasting her missed days from ramadan you are not allowed to approach her.

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When you visit graveyard, You should say: “Al-salaamu ‘alaykum ahl al-diyaar min al-mu’mineen wa’l-muslimeen, wa innaa in sha Allaah bikum laahiqoon. Yarham Allaah al-mustaqdimeena mina wa minkum wa’l-musta’khireen. Nas’al Allaah lana wa lakum al-‘aafiyah. Allaahumma la tahrimna ajrahum wa la taftinna ba’dahum waghfir lana wa lahum (Peace be upon you, O dwellers of these abodes, […]

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You can make Du’ah for a deceased whenever you want as you do for yourself.

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After a person dies, he has no money as it all goes to those inheriting him except for the will if he had left one. Whatever a person gives for charity from his own money, this will benefit the deceased.

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Nothing until he is buried. After that, he is questioned by the two angles and decided whether he will be blessed and favored in his grave or punished.

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