Scholars recommend throwing three handful of soil on the grave but I don’t know any authentic hadeeth supporting it. As for the Duaa, you only ask Allah for forgiveness for the deceased and that Allah make him or her steadfast while being questioned.

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Are you a man? You must defend your wife and not divorce her just because your mother or sisters don’t like her without any reason. Move out and live with her in a separate accommodation and do not let her see them for sometime.

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There is no difference. As for the niyah: https://www.facebook.com/SheikhAssimAlhakeemTeam/posts/518146305033031

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