This is a serious thing. The Prophet salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam said that among those whom Allah would answer their du’ah is a father making du’ah against his sin. He also told us that the father is the middle gate to Paradise. He told his companion: observe this gate or lose it. Meaning that it is up to you to enter Paradise by being kind to your father or be prevented from that by being disrespectful.
And Allah says in the Quran:
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honor.” 17:23
All sinners say the same thing. They go against Allah’s commands and say that Allah will judge them, thinking that they have a right to go against his commands. As for your rage, a have met a lot of people who claim to have such rage but this rage appears only with their spouse or with their children or their parents. This rage never shows up with people who can hit back. This means that this is not true rage and it is artificial and selective.
Allah instructed a son to obey his father, a citizen to obey his leader and a wife to obey her husband. If the father, the leader or the husband were cruel and bad, this doesn’t allow the other three not to obey them or to do their obligations towards them.