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I have on many occasions tried to change myself to be a better Muslim but reverted back to my bad ways, I sometimes miss prayers, and I don’t feel bad about it because I find them a burden. I feel ashamed about certain things in the religion like keeping a long beard, I also find some matters in the religion difficult to come to terms with, consequence of growing in a non Muslim country, I get a lot of doubts and this really scares me because i fear i will die in a state of kufr and I don’t feel remorse for my sins. However on this occasion I have been steadfast for a longer period, the one thing I’m doing different is reading the Quran daily and I remember Allah frequently. There is something missing but not quite sure what it is, there is more I could add but believe you will get the picture. What should I do?