The Prophet (Salla Alahu alahi wa sallam) as Anas tells us, was once walking and he was wearing a garment that was made of hard wool and he was not wearing anything underneath, and this nomad comes from nowhere and he grabs the Prophet (Salla Allahu alahi wa sallam) from his garment and he pulls him harshly saying that O Mohammad give me from Allah’s money because you are not giving me from your own. So this is a beggar, begging for money in this rude manner. Anas says I looked at the neck and shoulders of the Prophet (Salla Allahu alahi wa sallam) and they were red because this hard wool garment affected it. The Prophet (Salla Allahu alahi wa sallam) looked behind him, not startled, not angry, smiling to the man, asking his companions to give something for the sake of Allah and so they did. This was our Prophet (Salla Allahu alahi wa sallam) – forgiving and he pardons people. And what is the difference between pardoning and forgiving? In Arabic, it’s called as-safh and al-affu. So pardoning is sort of forgiving but on the surface, so you would not retaliate, you would not punish those who have done you wrong, but you will not forgive them with your heart. You will not punish them, you will pardon them, but you do not forget this with your heart. While forgiving someone means that you will not punish them, and you will not even remember that they had done you wrong at all. And this was mentioned in Allah’s Quran, in the book of Allah, in the story of Abu Bakr (May Allah be pleased with him) and his cousin Mistah Ibn Uthatha, who slandered Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her), his cousin’s daughter, and accused her of adultery which she did not commit and which was completely false and Allah revealed the innocence of Aisha in the chapter known as Surah un Noor. So Abu Bakr in the beginning used to support Mistah, because he was among the first to migrate to Medina, he did not have any money, he was extremely poor so he used to give him a monthly allowance because he was his cousin and also because he was among the Muhajjireen, but when he said what he said and when he had done what he had done, Abu Bakr said by Allah I will not give him a single Ayota, I will not give him one single Dirham or Dinar because of what he had said. And then Allah revealed the beautiful verses of the Quran, where our Prophet (SAWW) went to Abu Bakr (May Allah be pleased with him) and told him Abu Bakr didn’t you hear what Allah revealed to me and he recited what translates to ‘and let not those among you who are blessed with graces and wealth, let them not swear to give any sort of help to their kinsman’. Those who are blessed by Allah should not swear that they would not give this money or that to the next of kin or their kinsman, Allah the Almighty says and masakeen (the poor) and those who left their homes for Allah’s cause. Mistah can be called the three of these, he’s the kinsman of Abu Bakr, he is among the poor and he left all of his homes and property for the sake of Allah. Allah goes on to say let them (Allah is referring to Abu Bakr and those who have wealth and grace) pardon and forgive. Two things, pardon (that they should not inflict any form of punishment) and forgive (that they should not hold any grudge). ‘Let them pardon and forgive do you not love Allah that he should forgive you, and Allah is Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful’. The minute Abu Bakr (May Allah be pleased with him) heard this verse, he said to the Prophet (Salla Allahu alahi wa sallam) ‘By Allah, I would love Allah to forgive me and to pardon me, I make you my witness O Prophet of Allah, that I will not whatever I give and support and provide to my cousin, Mistah Ibn Uthatha. Allah the Almighty has encouraged us to forgive, although we know that it is an eye for an eye, this is universal that when you punish someone for something wrong that he did for you, if it is equal in punishment, this is OK and permissible, generally speaking. Allah the Almighty says the punishment for evil is an evil like thereof, but whoever forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is with Allah. This is enough for a believer, when you know that your reward is with Allah, you should not even think of the reward because it is beyond your comprehension. It’s beyond whatever you can imagine. So it’s a well know fact it’s an eye for an eye but whenever you forgive and reconcile, Allah will reward you greatly. And the best form of forgiveness is when you forgive with an ability, sometimes we forgive others but not because we are able to forgive but because we are forced to forgive. For example, if someone does wrong to me and he does something that requires punishment, it’s my God given right to punish him, but if he is like 6’4 and weighs 350 pounds, it’s a little bit difficult for me to get even so in this case I would probably forgive him. Not because I want to but because I have to, I am forced to do this. So this forgiveness is not for the sake of Allah, this is incomplete. The complete and perfect forgiveness is when you are able to do this. The Prophet (Salla Allahu alahi wa sallam) tells us that whoever controls his anger at the time when he has the means to act upon it, Allah will call him before all of mankind on the Day of Judgment and will let him of the hoor al ain whoever he wants. What a beautiful reward, it shows us that it is complete and perfect forgiveness when you are able to act upon your anger. When you control your anger and when you oppress your feelings of revenge and vengeance, when you do this for the sake of Allah, Allah will reward you greatly. And among the worst reasons that prevent a person from forgiving are anger, vengeance and arrogance. Anger, rage, many of us do things that they regret immediately after doing it, but at the time the cause of doing it was pure rage. Arrogance prevents us from forgiving, when someone tells you why don’t you forgive and I say why should I, he is way below my status, I am a better, noble person, this man has to be punished, humiliated, he has to know where he is and where I am – Arrogance. And also the love of vengeance, just to have these feelings of hatred and enmity coming out of your heart being expressed in such punishment. A Muslim does not have this in his heart, a Muslim always forgives and pardons and that is why we should be careful. It is said that beware of the pride of anger, when you are angry, you have this pride that makes you do things that you regret. Beware of the pride of anger for it leads to the humiliation of apology. And this is inevitable, to reconcile you have to apologize for the wrong things that you had done so instead of doing this and going to that place, better more that you do not express your anger, you do not do accordingly. And who are the best people to forgive and to pardon? They are the closest to you, they are your wife, children, relatives – They are humans, they all have their shortcomings as you have your own shortcomings. We have to forgive them, they make mistakes as we do, and we have to be compassionate, merciful, forgiving, so that Allah would treat us in the same manner. We have to do this for the sake of Allah, we have to hope for them all the best to know that what they had done was human weakness; they did what they did to us because they are humans. We should avoid anger and arrogance, we should avoid the feeling of vengeance, and we should say whatever they had done to me, I will make it for the sake of Allah and I will forgive, knowing that treating people with such gestures, when you treat others with gestures of forgiveness and generosity, you are inflicting more humiliation to them than if you would punish them, than if you would reprimand them with harsh words or actions. They will feel touched, they will realize the amount of error they did in your favor.
ANSWER:
You are on the right track but Satan doesn’t like this and he is trying to make you act upon such anger. Practice makes perfect and while you are trying harder and harder, Allah is rewarding you for that.