When I was told that I had to give a lecture about the moment that changed my life, believe me I had sleepless nights, I just laid on my bed and I could not sleep, I was terrified and I still am terrified. I never looked at my life before, I look at every day as it goes on: “Wthat’s your target?” Nothing, just to live. “What are your ambitions?” Nothing. I can utilize my time, go ahead and do that if not just chill, live your life!! So when it came to me that I have to speak something about my past, I told the brothers that if I had to speak something about my past, I would have to kill you. It is not something easy. So it gave me so many sleepless nights.
I started scanning my life and I found that there are so many cherished moments that changed my life. But I don’t think they may benefit you, but just for the sake of argument: a moment that passed when I was around 13 or 14 years old. When I was like 11, I started praying in the Masjid and there was not a single person who was practicing Islam in my whole family, not a single Hijabi sister in my whole family, we had cousins, brothers, sisters and we were just like any other family, it was in the previous century, so its really old! So I started praying in the Masjid, Masha Allah until I was 13 years of age. This is the phase in your life when you start to look at the world in a different way. I stopped praying, did not pray at all.
When I was 14 and a half, I was with my brother who came from the US and we went to a beach camp. My brother was disciplined in the way Americans drive and if you are in Saudi and you try to drive the way Americans or Europeans drive, you will die. Because it’s a jungle out there and you have to be like Tarzan in order to drive. Anyway,it was 11pm and we had like 5 scuba tanks and a lot of other things with us. At one point, we were on the left lane and a man in his 14 wheel truck tried to cross us. We were driving a very small car, a Fiat.
And my brother would not give way to him because he was on his lane, why does he have to pass on the left. So the man came from the right and he drove across us. My brother did the same to him. The third time when the man passed, he hit us and we went across the road in the opposite direction and the car flipped about 7 or 8 times and our speed was 140 km/hr. The car became a total wreck. Nothing happened to the scuba tanks, Alhamdulillah, because even if one had exploded, I wouldn’t be here to tell you the story. My father told us that my mother, when the accident happened, felt that something was wrong. Alhamdulillah, we, as you can see, survived with only some bruises and cuts here and there. Since that day, I never left prayer, Alhamdulillah. This is from Allah.
So even if you divert, Allah returns you back, if He wishes well for you. Life went on. I went to university and did what university students, in Saudi Arabia, do, which is all In Sha Allah, Halaal, in a sense. And when I was like 22 years of age, a friend of mine came to visit. I hadn’t seen him in 4 months and he came wearing short Thobe and a beard that was just about to grow. And this was a no-no to us. We were ‘supposedly’ very hip and used to wear pants and T-shirts and if you wore a Thobe it was like you have done something wrong. So I was shouting and screaming at him, “what are you doing? You have joined the dark side of the force! What is this?” The guy was a nice fellow and he couldn’t answer back because he did not have knowledge. He said, “Khalas, I know that shaking hands with women is Haraam, listening to music is Haraam, watching movies is Haraam.” All what he presented to me were the Harams, because this was all what he knew. So I, in a sense, gave him Dawah and the guy just laughed and said, “Khalas, this is all what I have.”
Another sleepless night, I couldn’t sleep that night. I kept on thinking that everything that he had said was logical. Remember, we did not know anything of the Qur’an, we didn’t know the Sunnah. We barely prayed. All that we knew about Islam was prayer and that wine and pork is Haram. As for everything else, we just thought Allah Kareem.
So I could not sleep and, Subhanallah, that night was a blessed night. Since then, I do not lie; and I said, with the Grace of Allah, I will not do the bad things and I will do what pleases Allah, to the best of my ability. This was approximately 4 years after the incident of the Haram when it was under siege for a few days. So I did not have anyone around me, I did not have Shuyookh or the Ulamaah or Scholars; we did not have the Internet or anything. Even the T.V. was black and white. So I started to transform into a bookworm.
Wherever I went and prayed and saw stalls outside the Masjid selling books, I just took them and read them. And it is from Allah’s Grace that i did not read any Sufi books or books by deviants; or Shia books. Allah Azza wa Jall made me read Ibn Qayyim and Taimiyah and I did not know a thing about them. But it has a ring to it, you know ‘Ibn Qayyim’, ‘Ibn Taimiyah’; sounded good to the ears. So i started reading their book from cover to cover. Of course, I could comprehend only like 10%. But that was good enough.
I read most of Ibn Taimiya’s books at the time without knowledge, without any guidance; so I had a lot of questions. And the people around me whom I asked, that Allah also guided me to, were 3: Shaikh Abdul Aziz bin Baz, Shaikh Uthaimeen and Shaikh Abu Bakr al Jazairi. And I started calling them every single day, like, for half an hour to an hour. No mobiles, nothing; used landline, redialed until they picked up. And I had a long list every day, asking them whatever I needed to ask. And they, Ma Sha Allah, clarified every misconception that I had, they had the ability to answer questions and this inspired me to always answer the questions whenever people ask me.
This is an obsession that I have. Alhamdulillah, it’s not an obsession to rule people and govern them but it is an obsession that I took from them. And my mobile phone is on 24/7 in Saudi Arabia. I get calls from all over, whoever has a question, calls and I answer them, unless I am asleep, then of course I turn it off. But I answer questions when I am eating, when I am working out in the gym, when I am typing, I get questions on the email, I answer all what I can to the best of my ability because I picked this habit from the famous Shuyookh, may Allah have mercy on their souls, and the ones that did not die, may Allah bless them. And, finally, after 5-6 years of just reading for myself, not contributing to anyone, I went to a Masjid near my house and the Imaam did not show up. And who do you think they chose to lead the prayer? I was the only one because I had 2 or 3 years experience of teaching in high school. But I taught English, I did not teach Islam. So they said that I was the only one who can address the masses, so give a Qutbah.
So I went and gave a Qutbah for Friday and for some reason, they liked it. So they said that they were removing the old Imaam and appointing you as the new Imaam. I said that I didn’t know how to lead the prayer as an Imaam, my voice is horrible and I don’t have experience. But they said that I had to do it. And at the time, there was no choice so it was again thrown at me. So I started preparing for Qutbah for every single Friday for 4 hours, just to prepare a Qutbah of 20 minutes. And this, Ma Sha Allah, changed my life. It gave me some more knowledge than everyone else.
But whenever I remember all of these points, and there are so many points, I can tell you about them in the future but this is not the time, whenever I remember this brother, who came to me and he could not respond, and this changed my life, I always envy him for the rewards. Because whatever I do, he is getting credit and he is not, Ma Sha Allah, a student of knowledge, he is a normal practicing Muslim, but whatever I do, whenever I speak, and I hope that while I am sharing this with you that he, In Sha Allah, will get reward in this life and in the Hereafter.