You first have to put your trust in Allah and give Him all the love you can.

Homosexuality is an illness and something that Allah despises. The Prophet salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam has cursed those who have intercourse with their wives through the anus. The punishment and the consequences of having it with another man is even greater.

You have to fight these feelings as you don’t have any excuse for not doing so. It is something that is not natural. Trying to legitimize it by saying that you were abused when you were a child doesn’t change a thing.

If a murderer justifies his crime by saying he was beaten by a number of boys when he was young, this would not be acceptable from him.

Therefore, try to stay away from whatever reminds you of this filth. Change your friends if they encourage you to do this. Socialize and mix with righteous people in masjids and in circles of knowledge where you can learn the Quran and the Sunnah. This will keep you closer to Allah and away from Satan.

And Allah knows best