ANSWER:

You must not attend as obeying Allah takes precedence over everything and everyone else. 

You can meet them other times. 

Sheikh How to Put Down such an Invite of Khatm (annual death anniversary of the dead realtive) if there’s a danger to kinship? What is the Ruling on Conducting Khatm?

Funerals | January 24, 2019 2:12 am
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Is it necessary for females to go to the house where some far relative have passed away.is it a good deed for them? here people go and start reciting quran which I know is biddah.so what females have to do after going there.
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After janaza prayer, is congregation duaa necessary?