IVF is halal only when the sperm is from the husband and the egg is from the wife and it is planted in her uterus and it is safe that there wouldn’t be a mistake in mixing the sperms or the eggs. As for choosing the gender, hereis a fatwa from www.islamqa.com
Determining the sex of the foetus by using a specific nutritional program
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Is there any specific nutritional program for men or women to have a boy?.
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Praise be to Allaah.
Determining the sex of the foetus is done by the decree of Allaah, may He be
glorified and exalted. The angel is commanded to write it as Allaah willed
in His decree from eternity. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“To Allaah belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. He creates what
He wills. He bestows female (offspring) upon whom He wills, and bestows male
(offspring) upon whom He wills”
[al-Shoora 42:49].
The person who wants Allaah to bless him with righteous offspring must first
avail himself of the means, by getting married and having intercourse in
permissible ways. There is nothing wrong with the one who wants his
offspring to be male or female availing himself of the means which have been
proven by means of experience or tradition or modern science.
There is a statement issued by the Islamic Fiqh Council belonging to the
Muslim World League which confirms this idea. In it, it states:
It is permissible to choose the sex of the foetus by natural methods, such
as nutritional programs, chemical washing and choosing the time of
intercourse to coincide with the time of ovulation, because these are
permissible means that do not involve anything haraam.
To read the statement in full [in Arabic], please click on this link:
http://www.themwl.org/Fatwa/default.aspx?d=1&cidi=168&l=AR&cid=12
The one who wants to find valid natural ways of choosing the sex of the
foetus may refer to doctors and specialists in this field. We are happy to
help readers by quoting from the research of Dr. ‘Abd al-Rahman al-Yahya, in
which he says: Nutrition has an effect on choosing the sex of the foetus in
two ways:
1. It alters the pH balance in the cervix of the uterus and the vagina.
Potassium and sodium turn the environment to alkaline and thus increase the
chances of conceiving a male. As for magnesium and calcium, they turn the
environment to acidic, thus increasing the chances of conceiving a female.
2. Changes in the wall of the ovum which increase the length of the
period during which the ovum is receptive to male or female sperm. Research
has proven that the woman’s diet has an effect on the sex of the foetus,
because it has an effect on the receptors to which the sperm attaches itself
on the walls of the ovum, and by means of which it penetrates the wall, thus
leading to fertilization.
The ionic balance of sodium and potassium, as opposed to calcium and
magnesium, has a biological effect on these receptors, which leads to
changes in the composition of the wall, which in turn affects the attraction
of male or female sperm.
The effect of these ions is simple: a higher ratio of sodium and potassium
in the food and a lower ratio of calcium and magnesium causes changes in the
wall of the ovum to attract male sperm and repel female sperm. Hence the
result of fertilization will be male. The opposite is also true: a higher
ratio of calcium and magnesium in the blood, and a lower level of sodium and
potassium, attracts sperm which carries the female chromosome and repels
sperm which carries the male chromosome, hence the result of fertilization
and pregnancy will be female.
To follow this method, a woman has to follow a specific diet for a period of
no less than two months, so as to build up nutritional stores which will
encourage the desired gender. We attach a diet plan which shows the sources
of calcium, magnesium, potassium and sodium in food.
The women who want to choose the gender of the baby before conception has
to follow this diet for at least 2 to 3 months before pregnancy (without
using any hormonal contraceptives; rather barrier methods such as condoms
should be used). It is good if the husband follows the same diet plan;
although it is not essential for him, at least that will be a psychological
support to the wife and help her to stick to the diet plan. The women should
continue with this diet until she is certain that she is pregnant. Once she
becomes pregnant, she has to stop the diet immediately and consume all the
foods that are essential for her body and the body of her baby, as
prescribed by her doctor. End quote.
Al-Mukhtasar al-Mufeed fi Tahdeed Jins al-Waleed by Dr. ‘Abd al-Rahmaan
al-Yahya, p. 35-36
For information on the diet program suggested by the doctor, please refer to
his research which is published on the following site [in Arabic]:
http://saaid.net/book/open.php?cat=83&book=4384
For more information please also see the answer to question number 111849.
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A