Your islam is valid if you are sincere. However, no one can treat you as a Muslim until you announce it. If you die, they will give you Christian burial with the disbelievers. Trust Allah and choose the right moment and announce your islam and Allah will take care of you.

Am I a muslim if I love Islam, if i acipt all what Islam asking from me, if im doing all in my power to live as a muslim? I never meet any muslim alive in my life, never been in Mosque and never said my sahada in front of anyone, doing best to learn how i can.Its so hard cos i must hide my Islam for now from my familly.Am I counting as muslim or not yet till I dont make my sahada in front of witneses