I and my husband both have good jobs. He is asking me to spend my money on our house whilst he is spending on his parents( which he claims). My salary account is joint account and his is personal. I know Islamically it’s the man’s duty to spend on me. 1) How can I tell him gently that I don’t want to spend my money and want him to spend on me.
Make him understand that along with his parents you are also his responsibility after the marriage and he should fulfill all your financial needs as he will be questioned about this in the hereafter. Give him references from the Quran and Sunnah in a polite manner and make dua for him to understand this.
The best thing is to keep each spouse’s income and savings hidden from the other one and there should be no concept of joint account. Many wives were devastated when their husbands used their money is such joint accounts to get married to a second wife.